1) I cannot help but giggle when a child at school says ‘I hurted my willy’. I just can’t.
2) Most people will end up disappointing you, so don’t be too hopeful.
3) At school, I was told by one parent that another parent thought that ‘I had no charisma’. Thanks.
4) I really love goat’s cheese.
5) There’s a hair brush that’s been on the floor in my bedroom for about two weeks now. I need to pick it up.
6) I have discovered a new found love for Brixton. I had a goat’s cheese crepe in Brixton Market and fell in love. And I love Morley’s.
7) I watched The Great Gatsby last week. Not sure what I think at this present moment.
8) I keep having the same dream. There are spiders spinning webs around my bed or ‘baby bats’ crawling on my skin.
9) I turnt 22 last month and oh my god it feels scary.
10) I should do more of these, I just keep forgetting.
How awkward are voicemails? I just left my friend a voicemail and I kept saying ‘ermm yeah so I will you try again later but if you get this text me but i’ll call again later. So see you soon and I’ll call later. B-b-bye’. AWKWARD! I sounded like a jittering mess. Never will I leave a voicemail again. I hate them.
1) I can’t sleep, because I slept in a very dark and quiet room last night and didn’t wake up until 3pm. And if it wasn’t for my mum talking so loudly on the phone, I doubt I would have woken up. So now it’s 2am and I’m watching My Name Is Earl whilst Keeping Up With The Kardashians uploads.
2) I have officially finished university. I got a 2:1, thank God! I was soooooo scared. It’s all over now, (graduation in September). I miss Goldsmiths, turning up in the afternoons when my lectures were in the morning. Drinking shit coffee from Loafers, eating Thai Green curry from Thailand across the road. I miss it all :(
3) So I’m applying for an MA! In English Lit. Maybe go into teaching or publishing…something.
4) Time is FLYING by. I can’t believe I’m 21, finished university and now I have to do something with my life. It terrifies me.
5) Morocco soon :)
6) Anyone who is living in the UK will know how dreadful the summer has been. It’s just pissed down and I even wore a coat the other day. Fingers crossed for a scorching September!
7) My beloved bestie took me to Field Day and then I went to Lovebox the following week. I had the most amazing time, it was perfect.
8) I was shaving my leg and tore some skin off, it’s scabby now and I want to peal it off so bad.
9) I tried to go on a diet, I even got an calorie app and jogged in Hyde Park. Lasted a day, literally.
10) Raaaaaamadan this week!
Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern
—Frank O’Hara, Mayakovsky
So here I am in my black PJs with a whole load of gradual tanner on, smelling weird and watching Mad Men whilst I eat houmous and cucumber. I am in love with Jon Hamm, he reminds me so much Patrick Warburton when he squints.
I’m beginning to hate everyone and everything.
How can I say hello (and I smiled) at one of the managers at work and he literally looked straight at me, tutted and walked off?! Not the first time, it’s happened like five times now. These bitches need a reality check. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HUMANITY? Hurry up real job so I can leave this hell hole.